1. No, I am not as crazy about your wedding as you are.*
2. No, I don't think you have been dating long enough.*
3. Yes, I DO think you are too young.*
4. No, I do not wish I was engaged. Bob and I were already married through the Holy Church of Myspace.
5. Yes, I do have far more important things to think about than finding a husband. Like what color i should paint my toenails next.
6. No, I do not need a ring on my finger to feel whole. I have Piper for that.
7. No, I do not give a shit about your wedding site, guestbook, ect.*
8. Yes, I am happy with where my relationship is right now. I'm dating someone who loves me and makes me laugh.
9. Yes, I can adore him that much and still never want to squeeze out his children. We have a beautiful baby dog that is more than enough.
10. Yes, you kind of make me embarrassed for you.*
Now while you are flooding myspace with photos of your left ring finger, I will be here, un-wed, un-engaged, dating (god forbid!!!), happy, excited about life, and able to by myself a diamond a hell of a lot bigger than your minuscule excuse if I so wanted to.
I'm just here to let you all know that no one cares about your wedding like you do and they do fake it for your benefit. They are very sick of hearing about it, no mater what they say. A week after your wedding no one will remember the color of your eyeliner, or the expensive manicure. They will not remember the song of your first dance, and they will not even remember what color the tablecloths were at the reception.
They will just remember that two dumb kids decided to play grownup and got married far too young after dating for way too short of a time.
Congratulations!!!
*None of these statements apply to Joy and Jon. Because they were ready, they paid their dues, and they are adult enough to handle the big step they took. And I could never buy myself a diamond as large as Joys.
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